An overview about Traditional Weddings in Lebanon

Weddings in my village
by Amani

In the past wedding celebrations in my country would last for many days. The more wealth the family had they could afford to hold a longer celebration. Sometimes it would last for a week or more. No expense was spared, it was the occasion to show the family at their best.

DOWRY AND DOTTA

Tantour a Lebanese head dress worn
 by high society women at beautiful occasions

A period of engagement was usually observed prior to marriage. Subsequently an engagement celebration was held in the home of the bride with music and dance. On this day the groom offered the dowry of gold to the bride and the ring. 

The dowry brought by the bride we call it 'Dotta', and it could be jewelry, money, furniture, the trousseau of the house and even real estate. 

Dowry and Dotta belonged solely to the bride except what was dedicated for use in the house.

THE WEDDING

Everybody at the village was invited, yes everybody!!!  Invitations had to be announced at the church and at the mosque. Intermingling of men and women was a regular occurrence for thousands of years except where, during The Ottoman period, the Turks influenced few specific societies in the cities they settled and segregation in social events became the norm. However this was the case only for a short period of time. Societies throughout the rest of Lebanon retained (and have preserved) the original customs.

Amani in a Lebanese head dress worn at beautiful occasion

Every day from early hours till late into the night an open buffet was available consisting of a varied Lebanese gastronomic bonanza starting with the large diverse meze and salads, then to the main courses and ending with the best Arabic sweets - and not forgetting the hot baked Lebanese bread and the fresh seasonal fruits of all kind.  

Every day a new variety of food was on the buffet. The food would have been homemade. Yes, homemade! There were no catering services at that time! A week ahead of the wedding date women of the village would gather at the Grooms family houses, sharing their love and happiness, participating in the cooking workshops, preparing the wedding decoration and taking on the bulk of the housekeeping after the celebration ends. The village was just like one big family.

"Eh Wiha"

THE TROUSSEAU

A wedding celebration began a few days before the wedding ceremony. At the family house of the bride a 'Bride Wedding Trousseau' is shown as an exhibition. This lasted for 1 to 3 days. This was an 'expose' by the family of all of the trousseau of the bride that they had been preparing since their little girl was born. 

The hand crafts made up a large spectrum of the items - hand knitting, embroidery, ornamental and crochet, home accessories of all kinds and garments. It also included dresses, shoes, bags, bed covers, even the bridegroom’s toilette trousseau and gown and everything she needed for her future life as a wife and a lady. In some regions, especially in towns, an oriental dance costume was 'a must' as a part of the trousseau. 

While people came and went, some women would dance and sing, some women would loudly tell some wedding sayings praising the bride and wishing her a prosperous marriage. Those sayings are only sung by women. They would have a special tune to cite them. They would begin with an 'Eh wiha' and end with a Zalghoutah or Zaghareet, which is 'Lilililili '. It is the typical way in “Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Palestine and in parts of Iraq. They are generally known as 'Eh Wiha'   , some call it 'Mahahat' like in Jordan and Palestine or 'Hahawi' or 'Hanahine' in Syria and Iraq.   

On the other corner, incense would be burning with some prayers and blessing requests.     

At the end of the exhibition, the 'Bride Wedding Trousseau' and her possessions had to be sent off in a festive procession to her future house.  The bride remained at home while her mother and aunts would take the bulk of items for her.

Selected from Palestine archive. Showing the Bride Trousseau Procession heading to the Groom house 

BRIDE PREPARATION DAY

Next day was 'The Bride Preparation Day'. We call it in Arabic 'Geali el 3arous' meaning 'Cleaning the bride until shining'.  It is similar to Henna Night.

It was the day to prepare the bride for her biggest day in all means. Only women were allowed to attend. They would wash her with Roses, Jasmine and Laurel leaves, evaporating her with incense for blessing, praying and singing the wedding quotes 'Eh Wihaa', and applying henna.  

This procedure might take place at the family house of the bride or at the 'Hammam'. Of course meals were always offered in the form of a big buffet even at the 'Hammam'.  

In my lifetime Henna wasn’t a common thing in my village. I have asked some of the elders and it seems this tradition faded a long time ago or wasn't a part of our particular traditions as no one could remember it taking place. I only remember one time when I was a child, my grandmother told me that, previously, henna used to cover the hands and feet for many purposes.  She didn't mention if it was practiced in our village or in general, although it was very common at some places. .

Drawing with henna dough on the hand 

Henna on the feet

The groom also had his own preparation day but always the focus was on the bride!  

Only men were allowed to attend. The 'Eh Wiha' and zaghareet were substituted with beautiful poetical sayings similar to a conversation among a few talented men and measured in 'Comment and Reply' called 'Erredeh and Raddeh'. 

Sometimes real poets were hired if the groom could afford the fees.

Hammam Ez Al Dine Al Dimashqui , a 400 years old Hammam 

BACHELOR PARTY

Normally most of the weddings would take place in the summer time in the outside yard (terrace) to welcome all the invitees and to have space for dancing too!!

Yes of course - entertainment made up the main part of a wedding celebration. If there's no music and dance, there's no celebration!

A farewell bachelor party was celebrated the night before the wedding ceremony took place, where all friends and families in the village were invited. Bachelor party would happen on a day when next day was a day off such as Sunday.  The bride would have her night separate from the bridegroom who would be also celebrating his night with his friends and families.

Belly dancing and Dabkeh with 'live' and 'play back' music were the main part of a wedding celebration. Sometimes professional oriental dancers were invited but at the end, the courtyard was reserved for the women of the village. Females would compete in dancing and show off their talents.  (BTW that’s how I developed my skills). 

I remember when my grandmother used to dance with the water pot on her head and zills in her fingers. She was the best ever.

Dabkeh is for everybody... hand in hand, shoulder touches shoulder, drawing a long line or groups in half circles: youth, old, females and males, all can participate in this popular dance on a Big Tabel and Mizmar live music. I bet you cannot resist dancing.

The leader of each line, while twisting up in his hand a 20 cm long twined napkin in a braid, jumps up and kneels down in a fashion that shows his dance potential and strength in a syncopated steps around the rhythm. The dancer at the head of the group has to change continuously. It is a hectic role.

When everybody was busy celebrating, the bridegroom would kidnap the bride for a midnight kiss. She joined his family with few of her close friends for an hour, than she returned to her bridal party.  

At late night or early morning the party ended- everybody exhausted.

WEDDING CEREMONY

Amani lifted on an uncovered " Hawdaj" featuring a Moroccan wedding dance. 

Come afternoon time, the bride and bridegroom were almost ready. Friends and relatives began to gather at the grooms family houses. A couple of hours before the ceremony, the group of the bridegroom parents would arrive to take the bride to the church.  On their arrival the 'Eh wiha' and 'Zalghoutah' became louder. Drinks and sweets were then offered.

A  covered  " Hawdaj " for a bride

The bride was then ready to leave her parental house. If the distance wasn’t far she would have a walk, go by car or aloft on a 'Hawdaj' among flowers and ribbons on both sides and all along the road. When she reached the Church she walked with her father across the entrance where the bridegroom would be waiting for her. He arrived a little time ahead of the bride, carried on his friends shoulders. 

During the ceremony while standing facing the altar a woman would take a needle and a thread without a knot at the end and starts sewing, putting together the bride and bridegroom suit to signify strong and blessed future ties.    

Along the church, facing the altar

AT THE GROOMS FUTURE HOUSE

After the ceremony the groom would proceed to their future house, accompanied by the invitees, to Big Tabel and Mizmar live music on the way. They had to avoid being on the same road as the bride on her way to the church (to avoid bad luck).   As soon as they reached the entrance the sword and buckler shield dance (very active) took place as a sign of strength and protection.

Tabesh El Khamireh (sticking the yeast):

At the main door the bride would stand up on a chair. On the wall just over the door she would stick, with her right hand, a yeasted dough made of plain wheat and water in a circular shape. With the side of her hand she would print the sign of the cross or places a grape, basil leaves and stick coins around the dough periphery as a sign of prosperity and fertility. Afterward she scattered coins, small souvenirs and candies over the invitees.    

Sticking the yeast 

Stepping in:

Making the first step into the future house was another 'rite for blessing'. The bride and groom, together, hand in hand, would enter stepping in backwards with their right foot for an endless marriage.

A LEG BACK or RADDET EL EJER

When the couple returned from their Honeymoon trip, the bride went visiting her parents with her husband and a big group of his family and her friends. This was another festive aspect. 

The parents of the bride had to hide all precious items at the house!!! It was the bride after all!!!!!  She would tell any of her friends to steal a specific item that she would love to keep at her new house.

It was for fun!!!  Sometimes she kept the item as souvenir, sometimes she gave it back.

This is what we called 'Raddet el ejer' meaning 'A leg back' to her parental home.

Another Traditional Lebanese head dress

This is one of Lebanon’s traditions.  Sometimes it is like 1001 nights! I remember one time we had 13 weddings during summertime. Can you imagine what the village was like?

That was the scene years ago. Our ancestors' traditions have faded with the invasion of the new lifestyle.  Today modern wedding celebration disciplines are almost the same all over the world.

Weddings take place without a story, without meaning. They have become just another hafla or gala with a bride and a groom and a zaffa.

I miss the love that used to bring people together. I miss that sense of the community being 'one big family'.  I miss my Lebanon …

Amani - 7/7/2016

 Beirut - Lebanon 

English text amended by : Audrey Marie Doherty

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